hmmm.

after months of idleness, here i am typing a blog entry. nobody will probably read this trash. so im gonna sigh my heart out.

i have no regrets and i have no frustrations, i am as happy as i can be. probably even greater than before. long months of fun moments is something i shouldnt be sad about, so what's the point of frowning? what's the point of crying? what's the point of thinking? i made a choice and im not looking back. i am happy. i am blessed. i am grateful. someday you'll find a million of reasons to smile. j'aime mon ami. abientot.

i finally found the time to make an entry.

its been hectic. actually la salle has always been. im trying to improve, i just hope they see it.

see how pointless this is?

we cant possibly fail something we dont take and we cant possibly succeed in something we dont take either.

LET'S SEE: Something to be sad abouT?

WEDNESDAY:

have you ever pondered on the word RESPECT?

i never payed so much attention until this mornings training. coach made "sermons" about respect perse and even gave some examples. come to think of it, he actually is right. bad things happen to most people due to lack of respect, failing to respect what other people might feel for every action one makes is an example. *sigh* my bestbud and i feel the agony and pain, why do we have suffer the same fate? argh. just pay a litlle respect people.

FRIDAY:

expectations-->not meeting the expectation-->sadness-->falling out

i learned not to expect today.i tried keeping that in my head. i am forcing myself not to but i inevitably cant. expecting to do good in that setting drill  was something i anticipated for the longest time, but the odds just wont let me do that running spike set, and to make my day worse my englone prof just showed us our midterm grades. expecting to get a 3.5 sucks  i just cant believe i only got a 2.5. grrr. tim's timing was just great that he practically cheered me up during graph.

6 hours and 33 minutes left and counting. i got so much work to do and as usual my mind cant seem to function.

its been a while since my last blog entry and a lot of things happened. as much as i want to get away with reality it just wont stop haunting me. please, stop? my head is full of tangencies and inverse functions plus added logarithms for pete's sake, why do you even have to bother? youre just adding up to my long issued anxiety. i keep wondering why things just dont go the way i want them to be. the frustration just keeps getting in to me, im not good at anything right? so why do you have to rub in? as if youre perfect. but youre not, maybe you hate us for having the same fate as yours, well bite this we wont. we'll definitely do better.

when frustrations come to your head, it is as if your whole world is turning the other way around. i am trying to reverse it, and no body should dare to stop me.

hate create monsters, and unfortunately it already did.